The Barber's Clever Wife

  CONTENTS

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  CHAPTER ONE

  Many years ago, in the middle of the flat, green plains of the Punjab, stood a large, sprawling village of square, flat-roofed houses. The village was surrounded by sugar cane fields, and in the distance could be glimpsed the tall, snow-capped peaks of the Himalayan mountains.

  In a tumbledown house on the edge of this village lived a man called Bulbul and his wife, Ruby.

  Bulbul was a barber by trade. However, everyone agreed that he was undoubtedly the worst barber in the whole world.

  Bulbul was unable to shave his customers’ beards or cut their hair without nicking their faces or snipping the tops of their ears. His customers would run out of the barber’s shop, shouting in pain, blood streaming down their faces, their hair or beard only half-trimmed.

  Everyone in the village knew what Bulbul was like. The old men would gather in the square to chew betel nuts and complain loudly about the barber.

  “I’ll let my beard grow down to my knees before I’ll allow that fool to trim it again!” they would mutter.

  Eventually, Bulbul’s customers began to stay away. Without customers, he had no way of earning money and soon he and Ruby began to sink into poverty.

  To tell the truth, Bulbul was extremely lazy, and, given the choice, he preferred not to work at all.

  He enjoyed sitting at home in the courtyard, shaded by the spreading mango tree, watching the monkeys swinging through the branches by their tails. But his wife Ruby was having none of it.

  “We simply can’t go on like this,” she said firmly one evening. They were out in the courtyard as the sun, a great flaming ball of red, sank down in the sky. Ruby was vigorously pounding wheat between millstones to make flour. Bulbul was dozing, stretched out on a bedroll.

  Ruby glared at her husband. “When this wheat’s gone, we’ve none left, and no money to buy more,” she pointed out. “What are we going to eat then?”

  Bulbul yawned widely, and scratched his tatty white turban. “Oh, something’s bound to turn up,” he muttered.

  “Is that so?” Ruby snapped. “Well, I’m not planning to starve to death! You’ll just have to go out and beg.”

  “Beg?” Bulbul repeated warily. He considered that for a moment. Begging sounded much easier than cutting hair every day.

  Also, he was a little scared of Ruby. She had a tongue as sharp as a knife, so it was much wiser to do what she said, without argument. “How do I do that?”

  “I have it all worked out,” Ruby said triumphantly, dusting off her floury hands. “The King’s daughter is getting married tomorrow, so there’ll be a great wedding feast at the palace. On such a happy day, the King will be glad to give alms to beggars.”

  “If you say so,” Bulbul agreed. He yawned again. “I’ll go tomorrow sometime.”

  “You’ll go early in the morning as soon as the sun rises,” Ruby ordered sternly, giving her lazy husband a poke in the ribs.

  So next day when the dawn broke, streaking the pale blue sky with pink and gold, Ruby turned Bulbul out of bed, and sent him on his way.

  It was quite a distance to the palace. Bulbul wandered along the dusty roads, keeping under the mango trees out of the hot sun. Every so often he hitched a lift from a passing hay cart. At last, hot and tired, he reached the city walls.

  The city was busy and bustling. All around Bulbul, people jostled and pushed each other, the shopkeepers shouted out their wares and people drove their cattle to sell them at the market.

  In the middle of the city Bulbul could see the King’s palace. The white marble domes, towers and minarets, inlaid with rich gems, gleamed and dazzled in the blazing sun.

  Bulbul wandered through the golden gates into the palace gardens. The wedding feast had begun, and people were thronging to join the celebrations. The gates were open to all, even the poorest beggar. The King’s courtiers, dressed in their finest silks and satins, arrived riding their white horses or seated on their richly-decorated elephants.

  A band of musicians sat beside a marble fountain, and filled the air with music. There were dancers and acrobats to entertain the crowds. Flowers bloomed wherever the eye could see, and the air was rich with the sweet scent of jasmine.

  Bulbul was dazzled by all this beauty and colour but he was tired out from the journey. He yawned till his jaw cracked. He longed to stretch out on the lawns, where peacocks strutted, spreading their blue and green tail feathers to the sun, and watch everything that was going on around him.

  But he remembered what Ruby had said. With a sigh, he joined the long, long queue of people who were waiting for an audience with the King.

  The King was seated beneath a gold-fringed canopy, surrounded by his courtiers.

  Two servants stood either side of the jewelled throne, fanning the King with enormous palm leaves to keep him cool in the midday sun.

  The King was in an excellent mood. His youngest child and favourite daughter was today marrying a prince from the next province, whose family were extremely wealthy.

  So when a man in a tatty white turban stepped forward and asked for help, the King smiled and nodded graciously.

  “What kind of help are you looking for, my man?” he asked.

  “Sire, I can’t earn any money,” explained Bulbul. “So my wife has sent me here to beg.” He sighed. “Please, give me something to keep her happy.”

  The courtiers laughed.

  “Of course,” the King agreed.

  “What would you like?”

  Bulbul looked puzzled. Ruby hadn’t told him what to ask for, and he had no idea what to say.

  By this time the courtiers were in fits of laughter.

  “He’s come all this way to beg, and he doesn’t know what to beg for!” one chuckled.

  The King held up his hand to silence them. “What about a piece of land?” he asked. “That’s something you can pass on to your children.”

  Bulbul nodded gratefully. “Thank you, your Majesty.”

  The King turned to one of his guards. “Give this man a piece of waste land outside the city walls,” he ordered. He turned to Bulbul. “And good luck to you.”

  Bulbul began the long journey home, feeling very pleased with himself. He was sure Ruby would be thrilled with the King’s gift.

  “Begging is a much easier way of earning a living than trimming people’s beards!” he thought with satisfaction. “And the King has many children. Every time there’s a wedding, I can go and beg. I’ll never have to work again!”

  Back in the village, Ruby was waiting impatiently for her husband, although she didn’t hold out much hope that he would bring anything with him. It was much more likely that he had stopped to rest along the way, and fallen asleep in the sun!

  But at last, as the moon appeared in the evening sky, she heard the slap-slap of his sandals on the dusty road. Ruby flung down the sari she was mending, and dashed to meet him.

  “What happened?” she cried. “Did you see the King? Did he give you anything?”

  “Oh, yes,” Bulbul replied. “I told you something would turn up.”

  “What is it?” Ruby wanted to know. “Something we can sell? A jewel? Or did he give you a gold coin?”

  Bulbul drew himself up to full height. “He gave me a piece of waste land outside the city walls,” he said proudly.

  Ruby’s face fell.

  “What!” she shrieked. “A piece of land? What good is land to us? We don’t have a bullock, or a plough or any other tools!” And with a moan of dismay, she buried her head in her hands.

  Bulbul rolled his eyes. He’d
done what Ruby had asked him to, and this was the result.

  “Let me think.” Ruby glanced up at her husband, a determined look on her face. “There must be a way for us to make money from this piece of land.”

  “How?” asked Bulbul helplessly.

  “Leave it to me,” Ruby replied, her eyes gleaming. “I shall think of a plan!”

  CHAPTER TWO

  “So this is our land.”

  Ruby stood outside the city walls and gazed around her. It was the following morning. She had hurried Bulbul out of bed very early, ignoring his complaints, and they had set off for the city.

  Ruby paced up and down the piece of land. Despite scolding Bulbul earlier, she was quite impressed.

  “It’s much bigger than I expected,” she said. She knelt, picked up a clod of earth and crumbled it between her fingers. “The soil’s good, too. Dark and fertile.”

  “But we don’t have any tools, so we can’t till or sow or harvest a crop,” Bulbul reminded her. He yawned, scratching his turban. “Can we go home now?”

  Ruby shook her head. “Watch me closely,” she said, smiling widely, “and do exactly as I do.”

  Ruby began to walk up and down the land, a frown on her face. Then she stopped and stared hard at a certain piece of earth. She looked worried and excited at the same time. She put her hands on her hips, and tapped her foot as if she was thinking hard, and trying to make a decision.

  Bulbul had no idea what Ruby was up to. He stared hard at the same piece of land, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He didn’t have a clue what Ruby was looking at.

  Footsteps sounded behind them. An elderly man was coming along the dirt track, pushing a handcart. Immediately, Ruby sat down on a clump of grass and began humming a tune, looking innocent. The man passed by. Then Ruby sprang to her feet and began staring anxiously at the land again.

  Bulbul was utterly bewildered. The same thing happened again a few minutes later when a small child ran past, bowling a hoop. Again Ruby sat down again and hummed. Then, when the child had gone, she began pacing the land again.

  “What are we staring at?” asked Bulbul, very puzzled. “And why did we stop when the old man and the child went by?”

  Ruby shrugged. “Forget about the old man and the boy,” she told him. “We’re not waiting for them.”

  “We’re waiting for someone?” Bulbul repeated. “Who?”

  “I don’t know,” Ruby replied. “I’ll know when I see them! Just do as I do.”

  By now Bulbul was completely confused, but he was too lazy to enquire further. Frowning hard, he followed his wife up and down their land, staring at the earth.

  When someone went by, they both sat down and hummed. Then, when they were alone again, Ruby hauled Bulbul back on his feet to continue pacing up and down.

  Ruby and Bulbul’s behaviour was already beginning to attract attention. Near the city walls was a huge wood, thick with tall trees. It was home to a notorious band of seven thieves, who were hated by all the honest people of the city. The thieves made their living by robbing travellers, and stealing anything they could lay their hands on.

  Their leader, Karan, had noticed Ruby and Bulbul in the distance, and had begun watching them. Puzzled by their behaviour, he called the rest of his robber band to the edge of the wood to take a look.

  As Ruby walked up and down, dragging Bulbul with her, she noticed the thieves peering out from behind the trees. Ruby smiled to herself.

  “There’s something funny going on there,” Karan said to the others, twirling his moustache. “And there might be rich pickings in it for us. Let’s keep watch and find out what they’re doing!”

  The six thieves grinned, showing rotted and blackened teeth.

  The seven thieves watched Ruby and Bulbul all day from the shelter of the trees. The husband and wife’s behaviour never varied. They paced, they stared, they frowned, and when anyone went by they sat and hummed a tune. The thieves couldn’t understand it.

  “This is sending me mad!” Karan roared furiously, as the sun began to set. “What is that pair up to?” He turned to one of his band, a short squat man with a ragged beard. “Mohan, go and find out what they’re doing. But be careful. Don’t let them suspect anything.”

  Mohan slipped out from between the trees and made his way towards Ruby and Bulbul. Ruby spotted him straightaway, and nudged Bulbul in the ribs. Immediately the pair sat down and began to hum.

  “Hello, friends!” Mohan said with a broad smile. “I couldn’t help noticing that a moment ago you were searching for something. May I give you a hand to look for whatever you’ve lost?”

  “Oh!” Ruby looked flustered. “No, but thank you all the same.”

  “It must be very hot and thirsty work,” Mohan said, sitting down beside them.“Here, have a drink.”

  He handed Bulbul the water bottle clipped to his belt. “You know, the sun is going to set soon.” Mohan glanced up at the pink sky as Bulbul drank greedily. “Why don’t you let me help you?”

  Ruby hesitated. “That’s very kind, but really there’s no need.”

  “Three pairs of eyes are better than two,” Mohan pointed out.

  Ruby thought for a moment. “Well, if you really want to help,” she said, “we’d be very grateful.” She lowered her voice. “But you mustn’t breathe a word to anyone of what I’m going to tell you. We have to be careful – there are so many thieves about!”

  “Oh I understand,” Mohan agreed, trying to look as honest as he could.

  “Many years ago my grandfather buried five pots of gold on this land,” Ruby explained. “My husband and I are trying to decide where to start digging for them.”

  “We are?” Bulbul asked in amazement.

  “Oh, I see!” Mohan just about stopped himself rubbing his hands with glee. “Then of course I’ll help you. But it’s already getting dark. Why don’t you go home and come back tomorrow?”

  Ruby yawned. “Yes, I think you’re right,” she agreed. “After all, the gold will still be there.”

  “That’s what you think!” Mohan muttered to himself.

  “Ruby,” said Bulbul in a puzzled voice, as they set off on the long walk back to the village, “why didn’t you mention your grandfather’s gold before?”

  Ruby smiled. “There isn’t a single gold coin hidden in that land, as far as I know,” she replied.

  Bulbul looked even more confused. “So why did you say there was?”

  “Wait and see!” Ruby told him, hardly able to stop herself laughing.

  As soon as Ruby and Bulbul were out of sight, Mohan tore across the fields to the wood. Karan and the other thieves were waiting impatiently.

  “Gold!” Mohan gasped, out of breath. “There’s gold buried in that land. Five pots full!”

  Karan’s eyes lit up. “Gold!” he yelled. “Get the shovels and pickaxes, gang. That gold’s ours!”

  The thieves rushed to get their tools, then they headed over to Ruby and Bulbul’s land. It was dark now, but they took oil lamps to light their way. They all set to with a will, digging and turning and tilling the soil. It was extremely hard work, but they didn’t give up.

  “Keep going!” Karan urged them. “Think of all that lovely gold waiting for us!”

  Sweating and cursing, the thieves worked on, carefully sifting every bit of soil.

  By morning they had dug the whole field, and broken up every clod of earth. But they hadn’t found a single gold coin.

  “You idiot!” Karan growled, cuffing Mohan round the head. “You must have been mistaken.”

  Groaning and rubbing their aching backs, the thieves plodded wearily back to the wood. They all fell asleep immediately, tired out from the hard work. So they didn’t see Ruby and Bulbul arrive at the city walls a few hours later, pushing a handcart piled with sacks.

  Bulbul’s eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the tilled field.

  “It’s a miracle!” he cried, falling to his knees in wonder.

/>   Ruby put her hands on her hips and roared with laughter. Her plan had worked beautifully.

  “But what are we going to do now?” asked Bulbul. “We don’t have any money to buy seeds.”

  Ruby patted the sacks on the cart. “Yes, we do,” she replied gleefully. “I went out and borrowed some rice seed from a farmer in our village last night, while you were snoring your head off!”

  Bulbul looked aghast. “But we can’t pay him!”

  “Not yet,” replied Ruby. “But when we’ve sowed and harvested the rice crop, I’ve promised to repay him with interest.”

  This was exactly what happened. The rice crop grew and flourished in the well-tilled field. A few months later, Ruby and Bulbul had a huge crop to harvest. Even after repaying the farmer, they had a whole pot of gold coins for themselves. The couple had never been so wealthy. Ruby was thrilled her plan had worked so well, but she couldn’t help wondering what the thieves would do, when they found out that they’d been tricked.

  All this time the thieves had been watching what was happening from their hideout in the woods. They were not quite as stupid as Bulbul, but nevertheless, it took them quite a while to realise that they had been duped. When they did realise, however, they were sizzling with fury.

  “We dug and tilled that field,” Karan raged. “So those gold coins should be ours!”

  He rounded up his gang, and they marched off to Ruby and Bulbul’s village.

  Ruby was sweeping the courtyard when the thieves arrived. Bulbul was asleep in the shade as usual, but he woke up when the thieves appeared. He looked very nervous when he saw the band of cut-throats. Ruby was a little nervous too, but she didn’t show it. She’d expected the thieves to turn up sooner or later.

  “Yes?” she asked coolly. “May I help you?”

  “Well, it’s like this.” Karan drew himself up and twirled his moustache. “I and my band of – er – friends here were the ones who tilled your land. Now you’ve become rich because of our labours.” He took a step towards Ruby, his tone menacing. “So hand over your big pot of gold coins, if you know what’s good for you!”